I ignored my intuition – big mistake

In November 2007, as I had appeared for my CA Final exam [4th attempt] and I thought to do full time employment in CA firm [ie. partnership firms are called firms] or a good company [ie. company registered under the Companies Act of India]. At that time, more than salary, important was to go out and do work. I started applying to various vacancies after my exams were over. First I applied to my dream firm [top CA firm in my home town], then I applied at other places. Since, I was doing CA final, I applied only in my home town and did not wish to go out of town.

I did not get any interview call from my dream firm or any other place, so I was desparate to join any firm or company. After two-three days I came to know from my friend about a vacancy in one of CA firm in my home town where she was employed. As I did not get any interview call from any other place till that day, I thought to apply in her employer firm.

I was called for an interview the next evening. It was 15 minutes interview with one of the managing partners of the firm. This CA firm was a medium size firm with 2-3 partners. My interview was very well. However, I was offered very low salary, more than that I during that 15 minutes interview I was getting very negative vibes about the firm, the interviewing partner and the entire atmosphere there in office. My intuition was giving me an indication that I should not join the firm because I would not be able to work there. My heart was giving me strong hints that if I joined I would not be able to sustain. I told the interviewing partner that I will think over the offer and let him know about my view in a day or two.

I was confused about whether to accept the offer. On one side my mind was giving me logical reasons to accept the offer and go ahead because I was not having any job that time as I was a student and I did not get any interview call from any other firm or company till that day, also that the firm was quite a famous CA firm in town though not the top one [like my dream firm] and on the other side my heart [my intuition] was saying reject the offer and have patience for some thing good to come. I really thought very hard on this offer and finally decided to accept what my mind told me.

After one week, I informed the managing partner about my acceptance to his offer with the low salary. Apart from low salary, his other condition was that the firm will keep part of my salary portion as a deposit for one year. If I leave the firm within 1 year, I would not get the part portion and if I complete one year in the firm, I will get part portion x 12 months pay in lumpsum. This was an odd condition. I confirmed with my friend who was working there about this condition of salary deposit. She informed me that HR policy or employment terms does not have any such deposit rule and why her boss has kept this condition for me. But as I had already accepted the offer knowing this condition, I let go it. On my first day in the firm, I was not introduced to my fellow colleagues, which atleast as courtesy should have been done. I myself introduced to my fellow colleagues as and when I interacted for my tasks. In those days I was not having my own vehicle and I had to travel with my friend or local transport. I was appointed in Internal Audit department. Usually when we go out for auditing at client company’s premises we do not go to our office daily. Instead, we go to client’s place directly from home and return. In this firm the rule was something different. We were asked to visit office daily in morning and in evening along with with visit to client’s place and the reason was to report our daily jobs to the partner in evening. So we did that and to my surprise our boss was not available at office for meeting most of the times and rarely if he would meet then it would be late evening and we had to wait for long hours. My friend was used to this rule but some how I was not comfortable. I had never experienced such rules or working conditions during my internship also.

The above was not enough, and more annoying things started to happen. I was doing my best at work but it was never considered. Many times I would help my colleagues in their work related issues and solve their problems but they never told that I helped them and took all credit of the work which I did for them and boss would tell me that how brilliant my colleagues are. I really felt bad but I did not say anything to gain the credit for what I did for them. Daily some or the other thing would happened that continuously increased my stress level mentally and physically both.

On one evening, I went to office as a part of daily reporting to boss. I had identified some issues in audit at client’s place and thought to discuss them with boss. I informed boss regarding the issues expecting some positive response for that. when I told him about the issue, the first sentence he said was ” Gargi, are you sure about the issue?” I said yes. He said that is not possible. Our client does not have such issue, it would be your mistake in identifying the matter. He straight away rejected the issue without listening to me and told me that I should study the basics about the audits and related stuff before I go to audit. I told him, I have documentary proofs but he did not listen and was rude. That moment was very very disappointing for me. I was literally broken not because I felt I was not capable or intelligent but I thought how could such a bad some one could behave. I was 100% confident about my capability, my potential and my intellgience and knowledge about my work.

That evening, I went to home and burst out in tears. I cried like anything. My day to day stress reached its peak. I was getting an annoyed feeling that my boss had a complex about my intelligence and capability and so he always tried to pull down my moral whenever he got opportunity. That night was not an easy, I asked myself “Why am I giving my self this pain? Why am I working here? Why am I tolerating all this non-sense? Why? That night I realised that I should have listened to my intuition which repeatedly restricted me to go ahead. I should have listened to my heart which was stopping me from joining the firm and was telling me to have patience for a better opportunity. I had fever that night but I decided to leave the job the next day itself though I was not having any other interview call that time. Next day I called boss and informed him about my resignation. He was damn angry on me but I was firm in my decision and resigned on call itself. I did not go to office for submitting resignation and other formalities. I was actually not in a position to go office. It was my 11th day of job and I resigned without taking my salary for 11 days. Everyone in my family and friends suggested me to take salary for 11 days efforts which I put in that firm but I did not take.

After 1 and half month my results were out and I cleared 2nd group of final and started preparing for 1st group for next exam which was due in May -2008. Also I again applied for job in my dream firm. I appeared for exams in May and on the day of my last paper I got an interview call from my dream firm. I was so happy and excited. Next day I gave my interview and was selected for job in internal audit department for a new assignment as a team leader for a team of 13 members and was offered just double the pay which earlier firm had offered. During my interview at my dream firm, the people, my would be boss and the entire atmosphere was so much positive and good that my joy was high in the air. I got the job in my dream firm and I worked there for four years and learned various new things and developed myself professionally. It was a great time I had with my team and employers in my dream firm. I was so grateful to god for this. I realised that our heart is the most important compass [indicator/guide] for leading a joyful life. We deserve the best and god want to give us best of all, but its our role and responsibility to listen to god’s hints and move one reach our goal.

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